Yesterday Governor Charlie Baker confirmed what we all know...school isn't going back into session this academic year. And sleepaway camps are taking as long as they can to decide whether or how they'll operate this year. So, knowing we're in this for the long haul, I took a step back last week and tried to figure out the best way to deal with this pandemic. First, for the home-school situation. I realized that Benjy panics when he has too many choices. So I've been setting aside time each day to sit with him and pretend I'm the teacher and helping him with detailed directions on his assignments. It went well last week, so let's see if it can last.
Also, in the spirit of finding joy wherever I can, I invited my closest friends from my 1989 (yes, 1989) trip to Israel to do a Zoom and it was amazing. What a breath of fresh air to connect with these folks...the first ones who truly accepted me for who I was, the first peers I felt genuinely connected with, and people who share some of my most formative experiences. I learned that some of them are facing similar parenting challenges. I found that another lives a couple minutes away from my dad. Another lives a couple minutes away from Josh's sister. I'm going to try to gather folks together again...see if we can really reconnect or whether that was just an exercise in nostalgia. I'm the only one in New England, and most folks are still in California (or returning there soon). But we're learning all over again that distance can be overcome, especially since we're distant from even our closest neighbors.
I succumbed to quarantine baking last week, which was fine, except I ate some of my "healthy" cinnamon chocolate chip banana bread loaf. While it was "healthy" in using white whole wheat bread and honey instead of sugar, it probably wasn't the best plan ever. Also, my reliance on popcorn as a quarantine snack probably needs to end. I'm finding myself hungry at all times now (like everyone else!), but I don't want to fall into habits that will not serve my health well in the longer term.
Speaking of health...you all know my migraines have been chronic for the last 10 years. I had to stop working full time at Brandeis almost exactly 9 years ago, and while I was seeking relief and treatment for the constant head and body pain, trying new meds and complementary therapy, I gained 70 pounds. Last July I had a vertical sleeve gastrectomy to reverse that, since my blood pressure had gotten high, I was pre-diabetic, and most importantly, I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. Happily, my blood pressure reversed almost right away, my pre-diabetes resolved in the first three months, and I've lost most of the excess body weight I'd accumulated. Though at first I considered it b/c of my weight, the health benefits, and reduction in risk associated with Covid (and life) made this surgery so so worth it. So while I'm exercising daily and generally eating small portions, I am loath to start reversing my journey. A lot of it is a head game. I've been convinced for weeks that I'm gaining weight, but each time the scale showed me maintaining. I'm convinced again, but will need to have a reality check to know what's really going on, since I've never been able to accurately see myself except in hindsight.
When I posted my senior picture after finding my yearbook, I received so many positive comments. Yet when I was 17, I didn't feel beautiful. It goes to show that my brain isn't always on my side, and maybe I should listen to Josh when he tells me I'm beautiful. Maybe.
About to start our daily homeschool with Benjy...so ta ta for now! Hugs all around.